If someone told me one year ago that I will enjoy going to the gym a few times a week I would laugh in their face and it’s not because I don’t like being active because I was always active, I used to do gymnastics, ice skate, work out at home and go running a few times a week but the word gym just gave me the shivers for many reason; my main form of defence was saying that it’s just not for me because I’m not a gym person and also I had this image of everyone there being super fit and judging me that I’m not which obviously I couldn’t be more wrong about.
At the time that I joined I was in a bad place in my life,most of my friends went to uni while I took a gap year and I found it hard at first to find a routine for myself because it’s easy to just waste year and not really achieve anything so I thought that during the free time I have one of my goals will be to get the body I’ve always wanted but always had some excuse. Getting started is not easy; every time a slight inconvenience would happen, something didn’t go right or I got something wrong I felt like giving up but I didn’t and the skill of not giving up was also transformed into other areas of my life without realizing. At first my only motivation that made me go was looking better and getting a better physique but before I noticed any changes on the outside I noticed changes on the inside; a much more positive outlook on the world, my sleeping pattern got much better since I usually go in the evenings and when I come back most of the time I fall asleep straight away, my mood swings stopped and I could go on like this for a while but you get the idea.
In those few months that I’ve been going for there were many occasions when I was tired and I would rather stay in bed and watch something and binge eat ice cream especially if it’s cold or raining because that’s much easier to do, but the easy way in life doesn’t lead you anywhere and as someone once said summer bodies are made in winter so if you want to look good in summer start now not in May. But every time I feel like not going I think of where I can be if I don’t give up, of how far I’ve come and about those people who are waiting for me to give up, I’m not saying that these reasons will suddenly motivate everyone to go but that’s just what personally keeps me going furthermore after some time you’ll get into a routine and you’ll create discipline for yourself to self motivate yourself as there won’t be always someone around to motivate you when you need it so you have to do it yourself and it’s one of the most important skills to have if you want to achieve anything as a freelancer or a business person and you need to be your own boss then your career or business will depend on you being able to self motivate yourself and discipline yourself into doing things even when you don’t exactly feel like doing them.
So now you’re probably wondering how does getting out of your comfort zone come into this? Well for me the idea of working out in front of people was terrifying,I felt insecure about myself and I thought that everyone will judge me so if you feel the same way as I did then let me tell you; people of different shapes,sizes and ages go there for different reasons and no one will judge you as you’re a step further than most people because you’re working on yourself. So my advice is concentrate on what you’re working on and ignore other people and ladies don’t be afraid to go into the weights area even if you are the only female there because most likely 90% of people there will be happy to help.
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First of January; fresh start and a great moment to think of the things you want to accomplish this year. Writing down a list of things you potentially want to do or change in yourself is the easy part; the question is how do you stick to it throughout the whole year not just till mid of January and then go back to your old habits. First of all be realistic in your resolutions, it’s important to dream big and aim high but there is absolutely no point in saying you’re going to go to the gym 6 times a week for example if you know you don’t have the time or energy to do it so instead for the first two weeks go 3 times a week to get yourself into a routine because slow long-term changes are better than sudden changes which you will give up on within a month and this applies to all sorts of resolutions not just gym related. So whatever it is you want to do take it small step at a time and don’t get discourged if something doesn’t work out the way you want to at first.
Second of all throughout the year you’re going to want to give up,but giving up isn’t an option and that’s what you have to tell yourself and whenever you’re gonna feel like giving up think of where you can be at the end of this year if you don’t give up, and how amazing it’s going to feel to say I’ve accomplished this or that. Futhermore a good motivation for not giving up is thinking about those people who are waiting for you to give up. There’s no better feeling than proving people wrong who don’t believe in you.
My final advice is; just go for it whatever it is you want to do, I know that this sounds like such a cliche but if you can dream it you can do it. If I had to narrow down to just one thing that I learned in 2016, it would be that everything is possible and that you never know what life has in store for you so don’t ever lose hope. Have an amazing year guys and I hope you’ll stay for the journey of my blog with me this year!
Whether it’s about work, friendships or relationships know your self worth, although it mostly applies to friendships and relationships. If someone is making you unhappy, they’re not bringing anything good to your life or you constantly have to ask for their time and attention then they’re not worth your time. Someone who wants to be a part of your life will make the time and effort to see you, call you or message you; no one is too busy to do that and if they are that means you’re very low on their priority list and you should never settle for that. Obviously if your friend or partner have been a part of your life for a long time then it’s not going to be easy, but long term the right decision is to let them go and give yourself a chance to meet new people who will appreciate your presence. Why did I include work at the beginning? Because sometimes at work you can be under valued or you can be not reaching your full potential which is okay for a while but after some time you should make a change. This can be a tricky subject as I know some people are scared to take a risk because they need the financial security, but ask yourself this do you want to work in the place you work doing what you do for the rest of your life? If the answer is no then you have to start working towards changing it as someone has once said if you do what you love, you won’t work a day in your life and it’s true.
At the end of the day you only have yourself and you should be making yourself happy. So concentrate on that, on developing your skills, passions, goals and growing as a person. Most of the time we only forgive people because we want to keep them in our lives, but the truth is most of the time does people are not worth our time.
A few days ago I’ve attended an inspiring and motivating event which in a way inspired me to write this along with the events in my life. The event was held by Gothinkbig, which they organise totally for free and they’re very helpful if you’re trying to get into an industry like media or journalism as it can be difficult to see someone face to face from that industry and be able to talk to them and network. Apart from that you meet other people who want to go into the same industry which you never know when might turn out to be helpful. Especially if you’re not a natural self-motivator this kind of event could be really helpful to you! Check out all the events and opportunities on https://gothinkbig.co.uk/
Also a little note from me; I am aware that half of the readers come here for the fashion posts and the other half for longer inspiring posts so I’ve decided that on Mondays I will post fashion posts such as outfits and everything fashion related and Thursdays will be more longer posts where I talk about various topics, if you have any in mind that you would like me to talk about then leave a comment or contact me through the contact section.
Two years ago today I would probably describe that day as the worst day of my life; let’s say that I was devastated. I failed two out of three of my subjects and I really felt like it’s the end of the world but it really isn’t and that’s the message I want to get across to everyone today who didn’t do as well as they thought they will or didn’t get to uni. Not getting the results you’ve wanted is not the end of the world, if I turned my situation around anyone can, there are so many ways that you can take in life to get where you want to be without going to uni; there is no rule that someone who went to uni will be successful and someone who didn’t won’t be, it all depends on us and how much work are we willing to put into our success. You can always try again, or take a different way as maybe exams are not for you and believe me there are many ways you can take from apprenticeships, internships or starting your own business. I can honestly say that I am happy that things happened the way they did, as on my media course I’ve explored media in depth and in ways that I wouldn’t on a a level course and also I’ve met some amazing people that I wouldn’t of met otherwise, sometimes things don’t work out so better things can happen.
At the age of 19 you realise that there are things that you wish you knew earlier whether someone told them to you earlier or you realised them yourself earlier. So here I’ve put together a list of things I’ve learned and wish I knew a few years back.
I am far from perfect,I make mistakes like everyone else and this is just a collection of some of my thoughts that I try to live by. Most of these things may seem obvious,but sometimes in the rush of everyday life we forget these things.
Please let me know if you found this useful or enjoyed reading it,as there is nothing more rewarding than hearing what you guys think!
- You are the most important. No matter what the situation is you should always put yourself first because if you don’t no one else will.
- Sometimes harder decisions are the ones that are better for you long term. Ending an toxic friendship or relationship may seem difficult but in the long term it’s for the best as you will have an opportunity to meet new people who deserve your attention and time.
- If someone wants to be in your life,they will be. No one’s ever too busy to text or see you, it all depends where you are on their priority list.Don’t force friendships or relationships. If you are the only one trying then you deserve better than that.
- When being in a relationship, don’t settle for anything than the best. Your partner shouldn’t ever bring you down or try to cut your wings, with the right person you should feel like you can do more. They should believe in you more than you believe in yourself, help you see potential in yourself that you don’t and motivate you if you feel like giving up on your dreams. Furthermore it’s much better to wait for someone that you can build a future with rather than just being with someone for the sake of being in a relationship.
- Cut yourself from negativity in your life. A positive mind set is the first step to success and happiness, if you start doing something thinking that you can’t do it or it’s too difficult; most likely you don’t succeed. Being surrounded by people who consistently complain or criticise you will stop you from developing as a person and most likely make you think at some point ‘yes they’re right this and that sucks’.
- It’s okay to have worse days where you don’t even want to leave your bed,just because you take a few days ‘out’ to recharge your batteries and rethink things doesn’t mean that you’re not going anywhere.
- Empower don’t hate. There is so much hate in the world, and people try to bring each other down all the time; which is why empowering each other is so important. Instead of being jealous of someone else’s success get inspired from it because if they could do it why can’t you? Successful people don’t have any superpowers and they’re not any different to you and me, they only have the determination and right mindset in which they don’t see failing as an option, so next time you see someone sharing their success whether in real life or online congratulate them and be happy for them which will not only make them feel appreciated but it will make you feel better about yourself as well.
- Self – care is so important, take care of your mind and body. When you’re upset over something don’t pretend that you’re not, take some time to be sad as pretending that nothings wrong will only make you feel worse. Try to find time everyday to do something for yourself, whether is it sitting down with a cup of coffee, having a long bath or listening to your favourite album. When you’re going through a worse time it’s easy to release your stress on alcohol or cigarettes but long term that will only make you feel worse, so try to find other ways to let your stress out for e.g by running or cooking as both of these actions take your mind off things.
- Just because you’re not where you want to be yet in life, it doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy your life as it is now. Appreciating what you have is really important, as it can make you realise what a long way you’ve came in life.
- It’s really important to dream big and work hard but it’s even more important to enjoy the small and simple everyday things in life.
- Don’t beat yourself over failures,when you don’t succeed try to analyse what you could of done differently but don’t beat yourself over it as maybe there’s a better opportunity waiting for you.
- Live your life according to your own rules,people will try to tell you that you should do this or shouldn’t do that but at the end of the day it’s your life and you need to be happy with the choices you make. This can be applied to anything from getting the tattoo that you really want to choosing the career that will make you happy even if not everyone approves of it.
- Money is amazing to have,it gives you security,independence and opportunities but at the end of the day it shouldn’t be the source of your happiness.
I had writing this in mind for months, but actually writing it now I’m finding it much harder than writing fashion posts. In this post you won’t find what triggers, causes or cures anxiety; all I can do is prove to you that no matter how bad it gets it’s always going to get better.
If you met me now you wouldn’t probably believe me that 3 years ago I would have an panic attack and feel sick to my guts before making a phone call; or doing anything that for other people was just normal everyday routine.
No one that hasn’t experienced this won’t understand what it’s like so please if your friend is too anxious to ask for help in the shop then please do it for them. People say ‘just stop stressing’ but anxiety is so much more than stress. We all experience stress at some point in our life’s and it’s normal but being anxious about making conversation with a new person and straight away assuming that the newly met person won’t like you isn’t.
With anxiety like with every other illness there are better and worse days, some days you’ll feel as if you can conquer the world and that nothing can stop you and other days you feel like you never want to make any human interaction ever again; please please remember that how you feel on your worse days is just temporary even if at that moment it feels like you’ll never get better but I can promise you that it gets better sometimes it takes months and sometimes it takes years but it will get better.
If I was going to say any advice from my experience it would be to get out of your comfort zone in small steps. Pick up that phone and call your friend first, ask that shop assistant for help because there is a 99% chance that they’ll be happy to help, go to that social event and even if you hate it at first; after wards you’ll feel good about yourself and next time doing all of these actions will become that little bit easier. A big step for me was getting a job in retail not only I had to interact with new people on daily basis but I also had to approach them and start the conversation first.. what the hell right?! Gradually over time it got easier and I used my newly gained confidence in other aspects of my life. Another important thing is having supportive people in your life who accept you how you are which can help to build up your self-worth and confidence in yourself.
Going back to anxiety here are some tips to keep your anxiety and panic attacks more under control:
- talking to someone you trust (if you don’t have anyone to talk to or you would prefer to talk to a professional you can always call the Mind Infoline at 0300 123 3393)
- doing some breathing excercies
- listening to some music
- doing some physical excercise
- keeping a diary; take a note everytime you do something that makes you proud of yourself it can even be little things and on worse days go back to it to prove to yourself that you are capable of doing it again
- eating healthy
- joining a support group
First of all welcome to SimplyByLola! So a few words about me; I’m a (nearly) 19 year old aspiring journalist with a passion for fashion, good eyebrows and cats! On here I will let out my creative side as well as share my style tips and thoughts on various subjects with you. This is only the beginning of my journey which I hope that you will join me on! I have many plans for this blog so you will definitely find something for yourself on it. One of my goals is to show people to never stop believing in their dreams and that everything is possible!
Stay tuned as some really exciting things are about to appear on here!